FAQ’s
Who are you guys?
We are just some regular folks, who had really yucky childhoods, and decided we were not Ok carrying all those painful, unexpressed feelings around with us. We are Matt -n- Paula Perelstein, and we met in Boulder, Colorado at a similar life-changing weekend back in 1986. We were both molested as children, so we had pain, anguish and terror, and we were both looking for a way to heal/release/expel these negative feelings. We found a way that’s straight-forward, makes sense (simple, but not easy) and effective, and we’ve been teaching it ever since (and we both became CA-certified crisis counselors for domestic violence and sexual abuse as a way to help others)!
Why do it in a group? Isn’t one-on-one more personal and productive?
One-on-one is cool, but the group is sooo incredibly powerful to do this healing work! Sure, you can do it alone, but the group offers:
- Love(!!!)
- Acceptance
- Credibility
- Validation
- Support
- Feedback
- Connection
- Empathy
- Energy
- and best of all, Hugs!
One of the worst feelings on the planet is to feel totally ALONE, and one of the worst things about abuse and pain is that it can make us feel bad, wrong, less-than, separate, unworthy and unloved. We help change all that! After class, many report that they “Never feel Alone, again”, as we truly connect with others at the feeling level, often becoming true, life-long friends, that we can trust, open up to, and love, unconditionally. (we have many “assistants” who have been coming back to classes for over 20 years now, so we’ve gotten to see them grow, raise kids with love, power and high EQ, and even see some of THEIR kids’ kids start out the same way… what a blessing!)
A whole weekend?
Are you kidding? How long have you been in pain? How many years have you spent feeling angry, or beaten-down, or alone and lonely? Yes, it takes one WHOLE weekend to start over, to change your mind about who you are and who will and WILL NOT be in control of your life. It takes one WHOLE weekend to find some of the most loving people in the world, and to start to trust and love again. It takes one WHOLE weekend to build Hope, and dare to love and dream again. Do you have something more important to do that weekend?!?
What are the main purposes/goals for the weekend?
- Help you recognize how your present life is still being influenced by your past.
- Allow you to release feelings and beliefs from the past that you would like to put behind you.
- Enable you to take full responsibility for how you choose to live your life, from this day forward.
How does the weekend progress?
Good question. We start out on Friday night with SAFETY. We want people to feel Safe, and accepted, and not judged for WHATEVER they’ve been thru or what has happened to them. (Our intention is to make it safe enough on the outside, so you can look at the scary stuff on the inside). Everyone shares who they are and why they are there. Our job, as instructors, is to help students get into a “learning mode”, where they open their hearts a bit and start to delve into their true feelings and emotions (tell a story from your head, and it might be interesting… but share it from your heart, and it can be releaseda and can change your life, forever!). We then do a visualization exercise that brings us back to our childhood, to make contact with our inner-child, and then link up that child with the adult (one of the keys to never feeling alone again).
Saturday starts with fun, loud music and some dancing (loosen up a bit, please — it can be serious business without being too heavy and a downer — we’re here to heal, so let’s try to enjoy it as much as we can, ok?). We do some sharing (Friday night can be tough for folks, as some of the pain and anger that’s been denied and avoided and stuffed down for years starts to surface… the pain wants to come out of our bodies… we just gotta Let it go!). We then get into small groups, and answer these 3 important questions:
- Who or what hurt you the most?
- Who or what are you angry at?
- Who or what scares you?
In the smaller groups, each student gets time to be/share/express their pain while their groups encourage and support each person’s journey. We do some lecture (not much), more powerful growth exercises (using psychodrama, visualization and metaphors), and we are encouraged to discover where we are “being a victim” in our lives, based on what happened to us in the past (internal Belief systems). The evening ends with us going out to dinner to continue our connection and to spend some fellowship time together.
Sunday morning starts with more sharing (which I would love to video some time — as this is often when a lot of people, having spent Saturday day and night “processing” their feelings — DECLARE that they are ready for a change, a big change, in their lives as far as who is gonna be in charge of their lives from now on!). Each student is then individually (with your team) taken thru what we call The Statement of Direction, which is an emotional reprogramming exercise that allows us to identify, feel and express each major feeling, consciously, one-at-a-time, on purpose, in order to appreciate, understand and not be afraid of our own feelings, any longer (the results are incredible!).
Sunday evening we have a GRADUATION / celebration for all the powerful work we all did! Feel free to invite guests, or just bask in the glow with your new team / friends. Completing this work is a truly amazing feeling, and some have described it as some of the best they have ever felt — EVER!
I don’t live nearby, is it really worth it to travel all the way there?
We think so. Those who have travelled think so. Our testimonials say so. It’s just a matter of priority for you… what’s more important… to stay in your comfort zone, or to truly Take Control of your life? (“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin)
I have to travel, what arrangements do I need?
Let us know you’re coming and we’ll help you make arrangements. The airport isn’t far, there are gobs of hotels and restaurants nearby and we’ll help however we can (if you’re hurtin’, we may even offer a place to stay with another student, assistant or instructor). Contact us.
Is there really a money-back guarantee?
Yep. If you hate it, we understand. The weekend is not for everyone. It can/will be painful and if you’re not ready to face your own feelings, it’s ok. If you go thru the weekend, or even most of it, and you don’t like it… we’ll give you a full refund of your tuition… no problem.
I’d like more info. Can I talk to a live person?
Certainly! We love talking to people who are ready to change their lives. See our Contact Us! page.
What can I do to learn more about ND?
- Read our EQ blog, at http://www.UnderstandingYourselfAndOthers.com
- Catch us on Facebook, at http://Facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop
- Twitter, at http://www.Twitter.com/MattPerelstein
- YouTube channel, at http://http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777
- Call us.
- Email us.
