https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_sharing_of_emotions

The post We want, and need, to Share our Emotions! first appeared on New Directions EQ Workshops.

We’ll get right to the point. We believe that you want to change the world. We believe that we know a way to do that, and with your assistance we can make it happen.

In our view, many of the today’s critical social problems are solvable. Problems like domestic violence, abuse, addictions, divorce, mental health issues, suicide, crime, and even war. What these problems all have in common is that they stem from human behavior. They all begin inside of us.

Since we are all free to decide on our actions, it follows that people are actually deciding to commit these destructive behaviors. The problem is that while our behaviors are made up of both thoughts and feelings, many people today aren’t properly in touch with their feelings. We believe that people are making decisions based on an incomplete picture of their reality. Logic is king, and feelings and emotions are the poor step-child, only to be dealt with when they get out of control.

By teaching people Emotional Intelligence (EQ), we believe we can change the world from the inside out. If we can show people how their thoughts and feelings operate together, they can make better decisions because they’ll have a much more complete view of themselves. If we can show them that there’s more to their reality than what they’ve previously imagined, they can and will make better decisions about themselves, their families, their friends, and their environment.

Every behaviour a person commits — every action, every movement, every word spoken or written — is based on some combination of thoughts (cognitive) and feelings (affective). Yet while cognitive, intellectual, left-brain ‘book learning’ (IQ) is taught in schools, demanded at home, and expected at work, our right-brain, creative, feeling-based, emotional capacity is not nurtured to nearly the same degree, often resulting in ignorant, self-serving, irresponsible, even dangerous behaviours.

2GetHelp’s mission is to relieve many of today’s social problems that are a result of people not knowing how to properly deal with their right-brain feelings and emotions.

We have found that Emotional Intelligence training leads to a simple, yet critical shift in human consciousness which we call “emotional responsibility”. The training teaches people that they have control and ownership of their own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. No one can “make us” angry or “make us” hit someone. We have a choice in what we think, and how we feel. We can feel angry or not. It’s completely up to us.

This shift in Emotional Responsibility leads to Personal Responsibility. We believe that emotional intelligence training could eventually lead to Social Reform for our country as a ‘team’, with other countries as ‘friends’, and even our planet as ‘home’.

This may be the most grandiose project that’s ever been submitted to you!

Our research has already indicated that EQ education is making a significant impact in schools with students showing improved attendance, test scores, and even information retention. Studies have shown EQ to be effective for students both with and without emotional and behavioral problems, and effective for students from urban, rural, and suburban settings across the K-12 grade range.

And EQ training has been shown to have a positive impact in the work enviroment as well, with better communication between employees, improved individual effectiveness and customer service, and even less employee turnover.

EQ has also proven to have a positive impact on mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Veterans with PTSD have benefited from EQ training in their recovery. And many people who were considering suicide have reported that EQ training “saved” their lives.

Nearly everyone who receives EQ training reports a reduction in stress, and numerous studies have shown that stress is correlated to phsyical ailments such as headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, and arthritis. When you consider that forty-three percent of all adults suffer adverse health effects from stress, you can see that reducing stress is critical to our society. We believe that EQ training is just the way to do that.

EQ is becoming widely accepted as a viable, evidence-based intervention. There is a grassroots movement that’s already underway, with EQ coaching, training, and therapy available in schools, colleges, divisions of companies, and even the U.S. military, where 41,000 Army drill sergeants recently received intensive EQ training to pass on to the 1.1M US Army soldiers.

We want to be a centralized resource for those already teaching EQ together and expand the reach of EQ even further. Our plan is to create a worldwide support network available 24x7x365 online at 2GetHelp.com, by phone, and in person. This will include brick and mortar locations where we can study and research the best practices for emotional training and support, discover and document the most effective, evidence-based interventions available, create training materials, and recruit and train peer and professional providers around the world.

In addtion to seeking out grants from organizations such as yours, we plan to seek financial support through setting up a foundation in the near future, and we will also have branded products and services,  and a fee-based membership site.

We would again like to thank you for reading our proposal. Hopefully, our passion for this project has come through. We very much hope that you consider working with us, as we believe that your goals match up with ours, and together we can bring about a positive change in the world.

EQRocks!

– Matt Perelstein
2GetHelp.org
Matt@2GetHelp.org

The post Proposal: EQ Could Change the World from the Inside Out! first appeared on New Directions EQ Workshops.

– or  –

How I Learned to Make My Life Work For Me,
Instead of Against Me

By Glori Celis

I’ll start at the beginning of when I knew beyond any doubt when my life or should I say I was out of control. I was a young mother of a 2 year old little boy and an almost 1 year old little girl. I had a really bad temper back then. At the time I didn’t know it was a bad temper because when I was growing up my mother got mad for every little thing too.

So here I am with 2 little ones and I’m enraged every day. I knew it wasn’t right to hit toddlers hard but I thought if they did something wrong I needed to “swat” them. One HUGE fear that I had and it was on my mind on a regular basis was that I would not be able to control my temper and I’d lose it and I’d accidentally kill one of my children. One day my 2 year old little boy did something and I hit him on his inner thigh and it left a welt. I understood then that I crossed a line and that if I didn’t get help I would end up killing one of my kids.

Right after I hit my baby I got on the phone and I called CPS (Child Protective Services) on myself. I told them I needed help cause I was scared of my anger. They got me free day care so I got to have some time to myself which helped but it didn’t change my bad temper.

I told my husband, the father of my kids I needed to go to counseling and the only way I would go is if he called for me and made the appointment. I was terrified that a counselor was just going to tell me what I already knew that I was no good. My husband made the appointment and I started counseling. When I saw the counselor it was the first time I really felt like anybody really understood what I was saying or was even interested in what I had to say.

I was in weekly therapy for 7 years straight. It really started my road to EQ although I didn’t know what EQ was back then. All I knew was that I was feeling better more often and I was learning to see things differently. I had choices I never knew I had.

I have been learning about EQ now for over 30 years now. My 2 year old baby boy is now 33 years old. Because I got help I didn’t end up in prison “accidentally” killing one of my 4 children. I’m still learning what I feel and the beliefs that I have that create those feelings. I’m a TOTALLY different person internally than I was 30 years ago. EQ is what I’m passionate about. It literally changed my life and the lives of my children.

What surprises me most is how extremely important EQ is in changing people’s lives for the better and how little it is valued as a whole in this world. I know EQ is gaining momentum but we as people on this planet have a long way to go.

What I learned by studying EQ was that I’m in charge of my own experience, feelings and choices I make. I’m responsible for my life. I learned to stop blaming others or situations for what I saw was wrong in me or my world. One thing I got rid of was my rage. I no longer have a bad temper and that alone is worth a million dollars. I never used to think I had anything to be grateful for. I’ve learned to be grateful for myself, the amazing people I have in my life and the things I have. I’m not afraid of my feelings anymore. I’ve learned not to be so judgmental.

I believe the more EQ someone has the happier they are. If you have a little EQ you can be a little happy. If you have a lot of EQ you can be a lot happy. I believe the better we know ourselves the better our lives can be. I’m still learning how awesome a person I am and what an awesome person I’ve always been. Without EQ I would have never known that. I believe we are all here for a reason EQ helps us to figure out that reason. EQ is a lifelong study of yourself and aren’t we all worth it?

Glori

The post How I Learned EQ – Glori’s Story first appeared on New Directions EQ Workshops.

It was almost 28 years ago that I first attended my first New Directions workshop. It was November 1985 and my employer required that all managers attend the workshop for professional development. Like the others, I dreaded that class and only afterward realized what a gift my employer had given me.

I had so many bad feelings inside of myself (left over from years of abuse as a child) that I was actually experiencing physical pain as a result but from that very first class, I learned that I had control over my feelings and used what I had learned to control that pain.

When they brought the class to Fresno and asked if I would help assist the instructors with the class I was very excited and happy that I now had access to the class that had changed my life.

I regained the self-esteem that had been beaten out of me as a young child. Most importantly, I learned to love my family and show them how much I loved them before it was too late.

I learned that I was in control of my body and my emotions and that no matter how bad things that had happened to me or may happen to me in the future, I was in control of the impact as long as I was still living.

I now understand that what happened to me is not as important as how it made me feel and what I decided about myself as a result.
Since that time, all of my immediate family has attended the workshop; we communicate openly with caring and love. Even bad news is shared with the assurance of love and support because as my children have reached adulthood, lost their father and been through their own challenges, we have become a tight group that offers support and love, even when we disagree.

I take the events of my life (from magnificent to horrific) with me to the workshop and open myself up to the idea that I could be wrong in my beliefs and that I can still change that and take another look at what meaning I gave an event. Whether I attend as a student or as a graduate assistant, I always find myself working on something new that is important to me and makes my life better.

Before New Directions I was consistently unable to take any project or idea to completion. The things I have learned about myself and others has allowed me to take on challenges that were important to me and complete them. From 1993 through 1998, I spearheaded the grass roots effort to create and Fresno County chapter of Court Appointed Special Advocates to give abused and neglected children a voice in court. I researched, purchased and managed the installation of my new home as owner-builder. I completed by Bachelor’s degree which increased my earnings potential by 60%.

By living the things I learned at New Directions, I have gained the self-assurance to know what I want out of a relationship, what kind of friends are the best for me, and that I can attempt anything I would like to do. I also believe that most of the things people do that might have previously upset me are really not about me. Like most people, I am all about myself and those I love, when I apply that principle to others, I find that I do not need to take anything personally. Those people who love and know me, matter to me. If one of them tells me that something is about me, then I will take it personally, but not necessarily as a bad thing.

Gloria, 9.25.2013

The post You Can Feel Better about Yourself, and your Life – Gloria’s Story first appeared on New Directions EQ Workshops.

Let’s teach people How to think, not What to think!

The post The new intent of education! first appeared on New Directions EQ Workshops.