https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_sharing_of_emotions

The post We want, and need, to Share our Emotions! first appeared on New Directions EQ Workshops.

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How I Learned to Make My Life Work For Me,
Instead of Against Me

By Glori Celis

I’ll start at the beginning of when I knew beyond any doubt when my life or should I say I was out of control. I was a young mother of a 2 year old little boy and an almost 1 year old little girl. I had a really bad temper back then. At the time I didn’t know it was a bad temper because when I was growing up my mother got mad for every little thing too.

So here I am with 2 little ones and I’m enraged every day. I knew it wasn’t right to hit toddlers hard but I thought if they did something wrong I needed to “swat” them. One HUGE fear that I had and it was on my mind on a regular basis was that I would not be able to control my temper and I’d lose it and I’d accidentally kill one of my children. One day my 2 year old little boy did something and I hit him on his inner thigh and it left a welt. I understood then that I crossed a line and that if I didn’t get help I would end up killing one of my kids.

Right after I hit my baby I got on the phone and I called CPS (Child Protective Services) on myself. I told them I needed help cause I was scared of my anger. They got me free day care so I got to have some time to myself which helped but it didn’t change my bad temper.

I told my husband, the father of my kids I needed to go to counseling and the only way I would go is if he called for me and made the appointment. I was terrified that a counselor was just going to tell me what I already knew that I was no good. My husband made the appointment and I started counseling. When I saw the counselor it was the first time I really felt like anybody really understood what I was saying or was even interested in what I had to say.

I was in weekly therapy for 7 years straight. It really started my road to EQ although I didn’t know what EQ was back then. All I knew was that I was feeling better more often and I was learning to see things differently. I had choices I never knew I had.

I have been learning about EQ now for over 30 years now. My 2 year old baby boy is now 33 years old. Because I got help I didn’t end up in prison “accidentally” killing one of my 4 children. I’m still learning what I feel and the beliefs that I have that create those feelings. I’m a TOTALLY different person internally than I was 30 years ago. EQ is what I’m passionate about. It literally changed my life and the lives of my children.

What surprises me most is how extremely important EQ is in changing people’s lives for the better and how little it is valued as a whole in this world. I know EQ is gaining momentum but we as people on this planet have a long way to go.

What I learned by studying EQ was that I’m in charge of my own experience, feelings and choices I make. I’m responsible for my life. I learned to stop blaming others or situations for what I saw was wrong in me or my world. One thing I got rid of was my rage. I no longer have a bad temper and that alone is worth a million dollars. I never used to think I had anything to be grateful for. I’ve learned to be grateful for myself, the amazing people I have in my life and the things I have. I’m not afraid of my feelings anymore. I’ve learned not to be so judgmental.

I believe the more EQ someone has the happier they are. If you have a little EQ you can be a little happy. If you have a lot of EQ you can be a lot happy. I believe the better we know ourselves the better our lives can be. I’m still learning how awesome a person I am and what an awesome person I’ve always been. Without EQ I would have never known that. I believe we are all here for a reason EQ helps us to figure out that reason. EQ is a lifelong study of yourself and aren’t we all worth it?

Glori

The post How I Learned EQ – Glori’s Story first appeared on New Directions EQ Workshops.

It was almost 28 years ago that I first attended my first New Directions workshop. It was November 1985 and my employer required that all managers attend the workshop for professional development. Like the others, I dreaded that class and only afterward realized what a gift my employer had given me.

I had so many bad feelings inside of myself (left over from years of abuse as a child) that I was actually experiencing physical pain as a result but from that very first class, I learned that I had control over my feelings and used what I had learned to control that pain.

When they brought the class to Fresno and asked if I would help assist the instructors with the class I was very excited and happy that I now had access to the class that had changed my life.

I regained the self-esteem that had been beaten out of me as a young child. Most importantly, I learned to love my family and show them how much I loved them before it was too late.

I learned that I was in control of my body and my emotions and that no matter how bad things that had happened to me or may happen to me in the future, I was in control of the impact as long as I was still living.

I now understand that what happened to me is not as important as how it made me feel and what I decided about myself as a result.
Since that time, all of my immediate family has attended the workshop; we communicate openly with caring and love. Even bad news is shared with the assurance of love and support because as my children have reached adulthood, lost their father and been through their own challenges, we have become a tight group that offers support and love, even when we disagree.

I take the events of my life (from magnificent to horrific) with me to the workshop and open myself up to the idea that I could be wrong in my beliefs and that I can still change that and take another look at what meaning I gave an event. Whether I attend as a student or as a graduate assistant, I always find myself working on something new that is important to me and makes my life better.

Before New Directions I was consistently unable to take any project or idea to completion. The things I have learned about myself and others has allowed me to take on challenges that were important to me and complete them. From 1993 through 1998, I spearheaded the grass roots effort to create and Fresno County chapter of Court Appointed Special Advocates to give abused and neglected children a voice in court. I researched, purchased and managed the installation of my new home as owner-builder. I completed by Bachelor’s degree which increased my earnings potential by 60%.

By living the things I learned at New Directions, I have gained the self-assurance to know what I want out of a relationship, what kind of friends are the best for me, and that I can attempt anything I would like to do. I also believe that most of the things people do that might have previously upset me are really not about me. Like most people, I am all about myself and those I love, when I apply that principle to others, I find that I do not need to take anything personally. Those people who love and know me, matter to me. If one of them tells me that something is about me, then I will take it personally, but not necessarily as a bad thing.

Gloria, 9.25.2013

The post You Can Feel Better about Yourself, and your Life – Gloria’s Story first appeared on New Directions EQ Workshops.